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Snacks / Saturday, May 02, 2020
  • Biggest non-shocker of the year... You wouldn't have imagined it in 2019, but by now even your salamander knows that Clorox is crushing it. Sales jumped a lemon-scented 15%, Clorox's biggest quarterly sales jump in ten years. Cleaning products jumped 32% on their "99.9% of germs"-killing prowess. But what shocked investors is how Clorox even raised its economic forecast for the year — it thinks obsessive germ-quashing isn't a fad, but a long-term behavioral shift.

  • Team(s) work makes the dream work... Microsoft's last quarter was barely affected by the corona-conomy (if anything, they got a boost). Investors couldn't hear anything but the deafening sound of Microsoft's cloud success and 22% pop in profit. Remote collaboration tool Microsoft Teams was the belle of the earnings ball: daily users soared 70%, from 44M in mid-March to 75M at the end of April. Oh btw — Teams has video conferencing built in, so it's now coming for Zoom's head, which it basically calls a one-trick pony.

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