Apple has its best third quarter ever (feat. iPhone "switchers"), as Big Tech flips the growth narrative

Can't stop, won't stop... Big Tech companies are giving off manatee meme vibes. Lockdowns may be behind us, but Big Tech's growth streak is hotter than ever. Despite reopenings, some online pandemic habits seem to have intensified. Here we go again with the quarterly records:

• Microsoft posted its most profitable quarter ever, with cloud services leading the way to record sales.
• Google had its fastest quarterly sales growth in more than 14 years, as Google Cloud revenue soared 54%.
• Apple posted its best third quarter in its 45-year history (#MidlifeThriving).

Cancel the Cabo trip... Apple prefers the Silicon Valley marathon. In January, Apple had its biggest quarter ever. Then again in April, Apple reported record second quarter sales as the 5G iPhone 12 fueled an upgrade cycle. The third quarter (aka: this latest one) is kind of like Apple's "Spring Break" — usually, it's the slowest of the year. These intense numbers just killed that vacay narrative:

• +36%: Total sales growth from 2019. Sales for every product category jumped by double-digit percentage points. Services (think: App Store, Apple Music) got a 33% boost.
• +50%: iPhone was the fastest-growing product, making up nearly half of Apple's $81.4B in quarterly sales. That was thanks to upgraders and "switchers" — aka: Androiders who switch to the Fruit. That's a great bragging point for CEO Tim Cook, since Android is still the most-used smartphone OS in the world — by far.